I chose friendship over business

I just realized it's been more than a month since my last post. And a lot of things happened in that time. Pumpkin got sick... nothing like a sick child to break a parent's heart. Constipation, fever, hospitalizations. It was a stressful and sad few weeks. She is doing well now. Thank you God!

At about the same time I chose to end my business association with my partner/friend. I really went back and forth with this. But in my heart I knew it was time. Still, that doesn't necessarily makes the decision easier. I dedicated 4 years to it, had some good times and not so good times. Sweat and tears were put into it, and I was damn proud. Then life changed... maybe I was the one who changed, and the business and the relationship changed also. Without getting into personal details, it was the best decision for me, for my well-being, my emotional state, my relationship with my husband, and hopefully for our friendship.

Only time will tell if we'll get closer again, I honestly don't feel she is my friend right now. That doesn't mean she feels the same way, and apparently she doesn't which is awkward and sad at the same time. How is it that I feel this relationship has changed soooo much, to the point where we only speak to communicate something related to business, and she doesn't feel we have lost the friendship? Someone is out of there mind, and I thought it was her! Maybe it is me.

I am not in a hurry for things to get back to what they used to be, plus it wouldn't be realistic. I actually feel ready for the break. Not HAVING to communicate anything. To let her go until we are both ready, because the Lord knows I am not ready right now. Yes, I am thinking about what do next. Thinking about a name, start my own thing, but not rushing anything. My sweetie will not agree with this probably, but a part of me feels like I've lost something. I lost a friendship, something that gave me another title in life, and today I found out that I am definitely not getting money back to go on a shopping spree! That would have been sweet.

Time and God will heal my heart. I am confident that only good things will come. I have the support of my family and friends. And THAT and a bottle of wine, makes it all better. Cheers, to me, and this new chapter in my life.