And no, I don't mean suck in the sexual way. Although I guess for some people it might include sucking. I won't comment on my sexual life, at least not yet, besides that is not the point. I know I wrote before about my thoughts on trying to conceive. But after 9 months of trying I am getting a bit frustrated. How can couples try for so long? I admire your patience and dedication. I am not sure I could try for more than a year and still me emotionally sane. Oh, wait... maybe so many years of therapy mean I am not completely sane, or simply that I like having someone to confess my thoughts to. I'm gonna go with the second one.
For about 7 months I've been charting my temperature every morning. And really, my cycles are wacko! There's no way to predict when or if I ovulated. Think that would have anything to do with not conceiving? Usually I have cycles of about 32 days. (Great, I am not talking about sex, but talking about womanly fluids is somehow better?) So even though I tried to convince myself that it did not happen this month, the truth is that the longer my period delays, I kinda get my hopes up, a little bit, that this could be the month. Taking 10 days longer (and 2 pregnancy tests) to officially know your answer really feels cruel. (I'm sorry God, I really don't want to piss you off. After all, I do need your help here). Maybe this is one of those things where is better to know the truth quickly. Like taking off a bandage. Sure it hurts at first, but the faster you take it off, the faster the pain goes away. But I must admit, taking bandages off every month, for 9 months (or more) doesn't stop stinging. You just know what to expect and have the bottle of wine ready.
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