I chose friendship over business

I just realized it's been more than a month since my last post. And a lot of things happened in that time. Pumpkin got sick... nothing like a sick child to break a parent's heart. Constipation, fever, hospitalizations. It was a stressful and sad few weeks. She is doing well now. Thank you God!

At about the same time I chose to end my business association with my partner/friend. I really went back and forth with this. But in my heart I knew it was time. Still, that doesn't necessarily makes the decision easier. I dedicated 4 years to it, had some good times and not so good times. Sweat and tears were put into it, and I was damn proud. Then life changed... maybe I was the one who changed, and the business and the relationship changed also. Without getting into personal details, it was the best decision for me, for my well-being, my emotional state, my relationship with my husband, and hopefully for our friendship.

Only time will tell if we'll get closer again, I honestly don't feel she is my friend right now. That doesn't mean she feels the same way, and apparently she doesn't which is awkward and sad at the same time. How is it that I feel this relationship has changed soooo much, to the point where we only speak to communicate something related to business, and she doesn't feel we have lost the friendship? Someone is out of there mind, and I thought it was her! Maybe it is me.

I am not in a hurry for things to get back to what they used to be, plus it wouldn't be realistic. I actually feel ready for the break. Not HAVING to communicate anything. To let her go until we are both ready, because the Lord knows I am not ready right now. Yes, I am thinking about what do next. Thinking about a name, start my own thing, but not rushing anything. My sweetie will not agree with this probably, but a part of me feels like I've lost something. I lost a friendship, something that gave me another title in life, and today I found out that I am definitely not getting money back to go on a shopping spree! That would have been sweet.

Time and God will heal my heart. I am confident that only good things will come. I have the support of my family and friends. And THAT and a bottle of wine, makes it all better. Cheers, to me, and this new chapter in my life.

Help Me Help You

This is pretty much how I feel about my father. I am trying to figure out a lot of things related to the company and how to make the best of it. I am really trying to not scratch my head too hard, or pull so much hair. Having a bald spot will NOT make me feel better. So I email my dad my ideas, my concerns, my questions. I ask for feedback, but also for the opportunity to try new things. It's pretty much me saying: "Help me help you". You know, like in Jerry Maguire? Although what I REALLY would like to be saying is "SHOW ME THE MONEEEYYY!!!". But I guess that's a bit far ahead. And what does he respond?

Remind me tomorrow and I will answer all your questions
Love,
Dad

Ummm, yeah. Sure. I will definitely do that. Make this harder than it is. My new thought? "Save the company, save the world" (from Heroes, in case you were wondering).

Calmness is the way we show that we are trusting in God.

I was googling some quotes that had to do with Faith. I read several but decided to go with this one. My head is spinning. I am trying to figure out what the best course of action is to save a company that is very dear to me, and to my whole family. This is the family business. One that raised us, and in which my family still depend on. Yes, I have a Masters Degree in Management, but being faced with the truth is something books don't teach you.

I feel pressure to put whatever I learned into practice. Pressure that all hopes are on me. Pressure that being so methodical, I might not be able to think outside the box. And of course, scared to death that I might fail. I have a bunch of numbers and feel blocked. How do interpret them? A friend of ours has offered to take a look at the numbers and give me his opinion. I am excited about this, but want this to happen NOW. The sooner the better. Why wait to start taking some corrective actions?

I really want to have faith. Faith that we'll figure something out and that will keep the company going. Faith that God will help us out like he has always. But if "Calmness is the way we show that we are trusting in God", then I am really questioning my faith right now.