I chose friendship over business

I just realized it's been more than a month since my last post. And a lot of things happened in that time. Pumpkin got sick... nothing like a sick child to break a parent's heart. Constipation, fever, hospitalizations. It was a stressful and sad few weeks. She is doing well now. Thank you God!

At about the same time I chose to end my business association with my partner/friend. I really went back and forth with this. But in my heart I knew it was time. Still, that doesn't necessarily makes the decision easier. I dedicated 4 years to it, had some good times and not so good times. Sweat and tears were put into it, and I was damn proud. Then life changed... maybe I was the one who changed, and the business and the relationship changed also. Without getting into personal details, it was the best decision for me, for my well-being, my emotional state, my relationship with my husband, and hopefully for our friendship.

Only time will tell if we'll get closer again, I honestly don't feel she is my friend right now. That doesn't mean she feels the same way, and apparently she doesn't which is awkward and sad at the same time. How is it that I feel this relationship has changed soooo much, to the point where we only speak to communicate something related to business, and she doesn't feel we have lost the friendship? Someone is out of there mind, and I thought it was her! Maybe it is me.

I am not in a hurry for things to get back to what they used to be, plus it wouldn't be realistic. I actually feel ready for the break. Not HAVING to communicate anything. To let her go until we are both ready, because the Lord knows I am not ready right now. Yes, I am thinking about what do next. Thinking about a name, start my own thing, but not rushing anything. My sweetie will not agree with this probably, but a part of me feels like I've lost something. I lost a friendship, something that gave me another title in life, and today I found out that I am definitely not getting money back to go on a shopping spree! That would have been sweet.

Time and God will heal my heart. I am confident that only good things will come. I have the support of my family and friends. And THAT and a bottle of wine, makes it all better. Cheers, to me, and this new chapter in my life.

Friendships loose validity

My Dear Husband has a phrase in Spanish that says: "Las amistades pierden vigencia©", I'm not sure if the translation to English really is the best (Friendships loose validity), but it's all I can think of. He also claims to have the copyrights to it. :)

Some of our friends were a little offended by the terms. But is it really THAT bad? Isn't it true? Sometimes life takes us in different directions. Things get a bit more complicated. Maybe work, distance, family, play a part in this. In these past 3 months, which we have been working hard in the planning of our yearly camp, I've found this to be true.

The girl who was my best friend, Milky Way, well, we're not really close anymore. I feel like a hypocrite if I use the term "Best Friend" with her. We have a polite relationship. I don't doubt that part of it was my fault. But after all, relationships are a two way street. It takes 2 people, at least. On the other hand, a friendship that once was strong and "lost validity", is now closer than ever. So things shifted a bit. Friend #2, "D'Teacher", has been a great inspiration, providing lots of help in this planning process, and we are simply enjoying the new stage in our lives, and in our friendship.

I also strengthen another friendship, Special-K. This one came sort of a surprise. I am not sure we were ever ThisClose, unlike with D'Teacher at some point. And it had been a great experience. We find that having the same zodiac sign really means having a lot of similar qualities. We think alike, love alike, hurt alike and we can speak English together, unlike our other friends.

It really has been amazing. Lots of planning, fun, sharing of private feelings, tears, and that comforting feeling that you have someone you can confide with. Some between the 3 of us, some between Special-K and I, some between D'Teacher and I.

So I guess I "won"... I sort of "lost" a friend but gained 2. Even though that sounds a bit harsh, I believe we will be close again. Not necessarily as we were before, but that doesn't mean it would be less special. Just a different friendship, appreciating where and what we are at that given time.

Cheers to my girls, who make my days better! Even though I don't say it frequently: I Love You!